Hard life

 Ironically, the missionaries who came to China in the 19th century were typically sent back to Britain for treatment only after they had become utterly exhausted and were on the verge of death. 

My situation, however, In US, is the exact opposite. Drained by the demands of school and everything else, and having fallen so ill that I was barely hanging on. Im dying. real physically and real mentally. Including attending, serving, worrying, and caring so deeply about my community


given that student health insurance in the U.S. is suck, leaving me afraid to seek care anywhere, also no traditional Chinese medicine. 

—I had no choice but to return to China to recuperate and nurse myself back to life


I got rejected, at the same time.


Great.


I actually don't know why I'm still alive today.


Why leave me in a place so full of suffering and utterly devoid of hope?


I really want to take a full year off from school.



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