rachelwong03

I believe to really see the Plan as a thing and take it serious, I want to write blog every day, from today: Yesterday I didn't control myself, had a big dinner, ruined my entire night, I did nothing last night, which is bad.  Today: Breakfast - egg bacon ... Lunch: a small box of sushi  Dinner: Nothing Exercise: expected no, because of Final. Try to walk outside the lake during night's study. 

 Human being even know God's word, from their sinful impulse still judge me with my appearance.  At least, now I know the truth. At least, I won't harbor any more illusions. At least, I no longer fear—or hesitate—to look myself, my body image in the eye. I've always known I have enormous potential, especially after losing weight. Yet I allowed my body to remain in an unhealthy state,  failing to properly care for God's temple. (how can I not looking after the body of him, that he made and handed for me to take care, then thinking I can help and serve others even be examples to them? It's the time God call me to know the cruel truth: It's time to discipline my body, not let it go.  Don't worry, people. There are no "what ifs" this time. When I return from China this summer, you won't recognize me at all. I mean, everything.  Posture, physique, skin, hair, sense of style.  I really can't wait to see the look on your face when you realize what...

 Ironically, the missionaries who came to China in the 19th century were typically sent back to Britain for treatment only after they had become utterly exhausted and were on the verge of death.  My situation, however, In US, is the exact opposite. Drained by the demands of school and everything else, and having fallen so ill that I was barely hanging on. Im dying. real physically and real mentally. Including attending, serving, worrying, and caring so deeply about my community given that student health insurance in the U.S. is suck, leaving me afraid to seek care anywhere, also no traditional Chinese medicine.  —I had no choice but to return to China to recuperate and nurse myself back to life I got rejected, at the same time. Great. I actually don't know why I'm still alive today. Why leave me in a place so full of suffering and utterly devoid of hope? I really want to take a full year off from school.

 It is my hardest time in my life. But how can I believe, God is sending the most important person to my life! I was always pray for it, but not really seriously keep praying for.  The only thing I know is I almost have no strength to wait. My life is way too hard, and I refuse to use the world to fill me, it also can not. I eager someone who can be with me and know me deepest in my life, not cultural people but a God centered people. God was listening my prayer, and it may will happen soon! And I refuse to get married late. He always know me, what I need, not that, he call my heart to want what He want, and what he give me is His will. I can't believe it. Brandon, the best guy in InterVasity. I was thinking, if angle of God come to my dream and said to me: Rachel, you have to get marry with one guy in IV, or you gonna die, " Brandon is the only answer to it. Because I always have my high standard of faith for my man, and I will never make it low. God listened every single wor...